Why Do I Do What I Do?

BONUS TRIVIA

FIRST

I’m a big skeptic when it comes to this industry. Because, make no mistake, it IS an industry. It capitalizes (quite literally) on selling you an idea of what everything could/should look like. The Mainstream American Wedding Industry (can we coin this “MAWI?”) was built for an audience that is, by and large, straight, white, thin, and cis-gendered. And young!

And listen, to state the obvious - I am three of those things. There is nothing inherently wrong with those things. But trying to sift through the iconography of this industry, while feeling AFFIRMED in your body and your partnership(s) if they do not neatly fit into those boxes, is a very tall order indeed. It can quickly ignite anxieties of not belonging. Which is literally the opposite feeling we’re going for.

Weddings were not part of my photography origin story. In fact, though I’ve been photographing them for 20 years, they still are not the majority of my work in this field. The foundation of this craft for me lies in the documentary and art worlds (as someone who began their studies in a fine arts program and came out the other side in a journalism program). Documentary work accounts for most of how I use my camera. Assignments for editorial outlets continue to make up most of my work.

So when I pick up my camera at your wedding, I honestly see it much like I see all my other work- as a story, and one you’ll want to share with future generations. I see humor and irony and color. I see people who are geeking out, goofy, unabashedly happy and imperfect, going through a gushy mess of emotions. And I see love, of course. Lots and lots of love.

The irony of my job is that I strongly dislike being in front of the camera myself. (One could probably make an argument that this is part of why I gravitate to working behind the camera…it’s safe). So I deeply empathize with everyone who thinks they “don’t photograph well.” But the secret is… this is inevitably almost always BS. We all have it in us to be photogenic rock stars. The key is simply connecting in an authentic way that makes you feel comfortable. Because — radical take here —you should be comfortable on your wedding day.

There’s a long list of why I continue to work in this part of the photo world, capturing weddings and families and variants of love. I hold very dear the purpose of making space for people to feel comfortable in their own skin, in their own life. On a self-serving level, they certainly can serve as a salve for some of what I cover in journalistic work. But sometimes I think —despite my Ick for the industry— perhaps celebrations of love are some of the last remaining rites and rituals that have the power to remain free of cynicism. Free of fear. They offer a precious refuge for the kind of hope and optimism that can be difficult to summon these days. They reflect so many aspirations that we collectively value.

In short, they remain a brave statement in a messy, hurting world, and that’s worth a lot these days. 

If you’re also a skeptic of this industry, OR if you’ve been wondering if there is space for you to feel comfortable and belong, OR if beginning the planning process is giving you lots of cringe feelings, OR if you’ve found yourself feeling bored and totally numbed by an overload of manicured, mono-toned, cookie-cutter wedding imagery that all feels incredibly self-serious, then let’s make something beautiful and bold together. You belong here.

*I move around lot. Before committing to be closer to my family in the Finger Lakes of New York (where I grew up on a farm), I had been living in Mexico City for 6 years. For 4 years before that, I was in the mountains of western Montana, where I went to grad school. Other spots I’ve called home : Brooklyn, Salt Lake City, Poland, India, Florida.

*My kindred spirit is my black cat, Meeps, who was found in a literal trash heap at a barely weened kitten in Mexico. She is a dog in a cat’s body.

*I bake. Also a lot. And try to mitigate the damage by pawning off goods on loved ones. (I’m also an obsessive cook, but that’s less of a problem).

*My partner and I make up many songs and absurdist musicals for our own amusement.

*I nurse a soft spot for all things sci-fi and fantasy and anything related to space.

*I love people, but must admit that I am much happier amidst a crowd of trees than a crowd of humans. Being in the woods feels like my homeostasis.